Add Vice For The New Year

It is 2006 and practically half the year is over. No, I am not a mad man, well at least two people think I am not but they are not very sane either. Anyway, as I was saying, half the year is over and not in terms of time. It's half over since all resolutions start to come apart during the first week in January and by the 10th of the month they are halfway gone. In mathematical terms it is expressed as the equation shown below, popularly known as the Failure Equation or The Why We Amount To Zero Equation.

Will Power * Resolutions = Outcome

Where Will Power quickly tends to Zero and Resolutions can be any number from One to Infinity. The Outcome, aka End Result, can be seen on bathroom scales, KFC shirt stains, empty beer bottles, bloodshot eyes, same shady friends, fat-filled cholesterol test results, mounds of dust on religious books, the obscenely low standard of blogging, and probably the amount of porn bookmarks on web browsers.

As a good friend told me on Ole-Years-Nite, I have no meaningful vices and vice-driven people find me annoying to be around. Naturally, I hung my head in shame while I puffed my cigar and guzzled my eight or twelfth beer for the night, while my free hand hung around a still unidentified female's neck for support. It was there and then I resolved to pick up at least one or two vices for the coming year since I had none. As if time didn't stand still, I quickly stumbled around my vice-riddled friends on the floor and asked the few conscious ones what were the more common vices among bright and handsome males like myself. As I suspected, they had no idea what a vice was and quickly dismissed my pleas. But, having placed my faith in Google and the better search engines in general, I was amazed and impressed at how much I was missing in life and why my life seemed so boring at times. With this new secret to life in hand I vowed that 2006 would be a vice-filled year.

Positions Vacant

The countries of this planet called Earth are on the lookout for budding politicians. The candidate must have the ambition to serve as back-bencher, government minister, member of the opposition, leader of the opposition, and even prime minister, president, pathetic senator (government, opposition and even independent) or any other useless, loathsome life form.

Suitable candidates must be able to lie, steal, hate, have no conscience, suffer from delusions of grandeur, think the world revolves around him or her, live for power, be unable to show or act with kindness, incite hate in their supporters for non-supporters, and must be functionally illiterate despite the level of education achieved by the prospective candidate. The ideal candidate must be able to not only hate non-supporters, but also victimize them at every opportunity. Naturally looks are not critical but the look of arrogance and cluelessness will go a long way in achieving success in this much sort after field by the brain-dead and facially challenged. Having the personality of a low-class sewer rat would also be a great asset.

If you are incompetent at everything you ever do and believe hate and arrogance is the answer, then this job is for you.

Tell Me

The more people become “religious” the more likely they are to hate. For many people, religion is the kick they need to boost their self-esteem and rise above the rest of a pathetic World according to them. These “religious” people are quite frightening in their baseless hate for particular groups and religions in society. I am not knocking religion and it’s purpose but I am knocking those who see themselves as superior begins based not on their ability to show universal compassion, but on their ability to show very selective compassion, if any. Tell me who you hate and I will tell you who you are.

a poor blog aka another fiasco

aka: Hello?

Mini: Is this aka?

aka: Yes, this is the aka speaking.

Mini: aka, this is Mini, Mini Skirt.

aka: Well hello Mini, Mini skirt, long time no speak.

Mini: It has been a while.

aka: So what’s up Short Hem?

Mini: I just got my new cell phone and decided to test it and couldn’t think of a better guinea pig than you.

aka: If I didn’t know better I would say you were meaning to offend.

Mini: aka, no one could ever offend you.

aka: Glad you remembered.

Mini: How could I forget, I nearly had a nervous breakdown trying to offend you.

aka: Short skirts are never offensive unless accompanied by unshaven legs.

Mini: Sheesh!!! I should have known better!

aka: Is there another reason for this conversation besides you suffering form cellularitis?

Mini: You haven’t changed one bit; you are still the same obnoxious aka.

aka: Thanks, so as I was saying, what else is the reason for you using up your minutes with my time?

Mini: Well aka, I was reading your blogs recently and I have to admit I wasn’t impressed.

aka: I am not impressed with your reading ability either but there are classes which you can take. Even you can benefit.

Mini: Get-a-life aka, I mean I wasn’t impressed with what you were writing. It just so-so.

aka: It’s just so-so not It just so-so. You really need more remedial classes.

Mini: Pardon my French, but you are avoiding the issue.

aka: You are barely surviving the English and now you want to take on the French...... If we were having this conversation face to hem line I would not be avoiding The Issue.

Mini: Aka, is your mind straying into the gutter again? You seem incapable of having a sensible conversation. Just tell me what has caused your recent spate of poor blogging?

aka: You seem to strive with my mind in your gutter but since you asked I will reply. I cannot say exactly why the poor blogging because I don’t know exactly why. What most people fail to realize is that we all make blogging choices and we have to live with those choices for the rest of our lives. It could be a case of blog pressure. The way I see it is when we are dead and hopefully gone, what we would have left behind are our deeds and our blogs. If they were any good then they will bear fruit, if not then obviously more fertilizer was needed.

Mini: If I understand you correctly, you mean you are all out of fertilizer.

aka: To put it in simple layman terms, yes, but this conversation seems to be inspiring more fertilizer than you could ever imagine.

Mini: You always seem so full of it, who would have thought.

aka: Don't write me off yet my dear short-skirt, I am still very fertile.

Mini: Oh, I get it, fertilizer comes from the word fertile.

aka: Yes, one can say it's the root word.

......the end, or something like that

Stranger Than Fiction

Mission:
To find evidence to prove the world is a strange place.

Method:
I did a check to see if there were people as strange as I am out there in the nearly once civilized world. I wanted to register a strange name website and came up with the fact that there are people out there who are no only as strange as me, but strange before me.

These are all registered domains. They may not be operating web sites but they certainly are owned by strangers:

www.lookatme.com
www.areyoustupid.com
www.whome.com
www.yesyou.com
www.isitreal.com
www.yesitsreal.com
www.canitouchit.com
www.notthistime.com
www.ohbrother.com
www.leavemealone.com
www.smellyfeet.com
www.fingerfungus.com
www.myheadhurts.com
www.myballsitch.com
www.sosmall.com
www.wearandtear.com
www.goodgrief.com
www.theend. com

Thank you. Thank you all.

Things with simple names can floor us such as the common cold, cars, and girlfriend(s)…. and even car(s) with girlfriend(s). I was floored at least once by two of these items but not on consecutive days. However, they can all take a toll on us, both on impact and during our hospital stay. Turning off the oxygen can also be a real killer.

I am currently recovering from the common cold and was once again deeply bothered by the name and a certain pharmacist. Who in their right mind would call a common cold a common cold, certainly not someone moaning under the influence of overheating and a bloody red, tissue-from-a-tissue-box wiped nose? Could this be Rudolph’s secret that Santa and the CIA trained elves don’t want us to know?

Rudolph, with your nose so bright would you kindly use a Kleenex tonight but keep it quiet.

The one thing that is not documented in recent medical journals of questionable integrity and readership is that the mind behaves even stranger while suffering from a bout of the common cold. I don’t know if you spotted it, but mind behaves is an oxymoron. As for me, I am simply a moron deprived of oxygen. Exactly how strange the mind behaves depends how strange the mind was behaving when the common cold struck. It simply builds on that level of strangeness and peaks when the do-gooders offer you chicken soup for the umpteenth time.

Thanks for asking and I want to let the general bloging public, and other shady characters know that I am well on the road to recovery. I also want to thank the countless bottles of pills, who never hesitated to give up a bit of themselves so that my time spent under the influence was a bit bearable. Pain killer, decongestant, you know who you are even though you are generic. At last, but not in the least, I want to thank my mind for taking insanity to a higher level.

Thank you. Thank you all.

Shrinking Happiness

This blog first appeared today (24-11-2005) as a comment on the popular blog Just Stuff. In the absence of any new material aka decided to publish this as his blog for today. This blog has been slightly edited to fit nothing specific.

I am also skeptical about the perpetual show of happiness and optimism. Now, please note, I am not a pessimist but I know the mind simply cannot tolerate too many "happy pills" for too long. Yep, that's my theory about those who refuse to give up their good cheer and that irritating bubbly tone of voice for even a second.

I have a theory which also states that sadness and depression has a positive effect on the economy and the progress of the Planet as we know it. Without sadness and depression there would not be the multi-billion-dollar drug (legal) industry churning out the likes of Paxil, Viagra and various colon clensers. There would also be less psychologist buying yachts, beachfront homes and penthouse apartments for their girlfriends, while their wives sign up for liposuction, facelifts and boy toys. Needless to say the reason why some are called shrinks might have some relation to their chronic use of, and need for Viagra.

I think happiness is very similar to Aptie's Chicken Roti, Joe's Pepperoni Pizza and other perversions which may or may not involve meat dishes. If you have it everyday it doesn't taste as good. We would indeed be happier people if we learn to quell extended periods of happiness just so that it doesn't become worn and incite our friends to blog about it. The worst thing that could happen to a person is for sadness and depression to creep up on them. We would be much better off if we control when these bouts of unhappiness were to appear. Similar to medication we all need happiness but only in small doses and only at the times we choose.

Christmas With The Martians

It was on Christmas day 1953 when the Martians first landed on our planet. These aliens had no idea that Christmas Day was a War Holiday since they had downloaded the CIA World Fact book from the CIA’s website nearly two years before and were pleasantly surprised at the amount of hostility and bloodshed on planet Earth. Little did they know this “Intelligence Agency disguised as a website” was a war-based organization that seldom documents peace and joyous events in a good light. Based also on their searches on Google, Planet Earth seemed to be the ideal planet for a Martian vacation resort and conference center. Unfortunately the bloated Martian Government report titled “Planets We Should Invaded – aka Hostile Atmospheres for Martians – aka 101 Things Brain Dead Governments Should Do Before Christmas” didn’t paint Earth as even a remotely aggressive Planet after the Christmas Landing of 53. Martians are a people (oxymoron) who strive on War and other forms of meaningless aggression. The aliens from The Red Planet would not last a week if someone repeatedly greeted them with “Peace On Earth,” “Joy To The World” or even the worn, hidden-aggressive greeting “Have a nice day.” Their body chemistry and odor would never allow it. Needless to say this lack of Earth invasion by The Martian military may soon come to an end since Earth as a possible planet for a Martian invasion comes up for review sometime in 2007 by the Happiness Committee of Mars, who is actually scheduled to visit a shopping mall on Earth a few days before Christmas this year.

p.s: This blog was inspired by the first Christmas blog for the Season. Please visit The Cuke Is In during the week and selected holidays between normal opening and closing blogging hours.

Universal Filler

To put my thoughts in writing is taking less and less effort. The reason; I am having fewer and fewer thoughts. A blank mind is a receptive mind is one of the biggest fallacies of our time. A blank mind is blank for a reason and the reason is usually not good. Look at all the great blank minds of our times and you would see what I mean. I am more like a drop of oil on an ocean of water; spreading very thin on the surface until I appear one with the water. In reality I have become unnoticeable but happy. That’s another thing, being inconspicuous doesn’t mean having no effect. Look at the wind in the hurricane season – the inconspicuous has decided to make its power known. It’s like the silent majority banding together or a speck of dust in your eye. Those would be poor examples but poor examples cause more neuron activity than good examples. Symmetrical shapes are only briefly admired but an unsymmetrical woman burdens the mind for much longer. Since the mind isn’t perfectly symmetrical it gets turned on by some of the weirdest things like hairless moles above the lip, spaced out front teeth and long legs in tight jeans (even short legs for that matter.) By now you may be wondering what is the purpose of this particular blog and I can’t blame you for wondering. I can’t blame you because I don’t know you as well as I think. We never know what people are like until we lend them money, try to cut in front of them in traffic or go out with their girlfriends. The point I am trying to make is very simple and it is this. Jeez, I forgot what it was again….oh yes, now I remember. The reason we blog is not for the entertainment of others or that we are overflowing with wisdom, but because the Universe is filled with empty space (as opposed to filled space which is probably an oxymoron), and blogging is just one more way in which the Universe is attempting to do away with unstable equilibrium and other oxymorons.

Random Thoughts - Two

• I never sleep late because my mind won’t let me. My mind has a mind of its own. There are advantages to getting up early such as sunrises and quiet. There is a distant neighborhood rooster who insists on announcing daybreak but lately I am beating him to it. No, I am not the new neighborhood cock, and FYI rooster and cock are synonyms. I suppose if the rooster didn’t crow in the morning he would be considered a dysfunctional rooster, and we all know what happens to dysfunctional roosters.

• I recently found a good recipe for pelau. I am not big on cooking but I think cooking is a soul-satisfying art form just as photography is, except you can’t download the results to your PC or email it to friends. I understand some dishes were put, or is it thrown, on walls but not for beautification purposes. However, photography and cooking are similar because when done poorly they both can induce nausea.

• Photography is amazing because it trains the photographer to see what no one else sees and to look when there is nothing to look at. It can help eliminate boredom and, by extension, reduce insanity levels. It can also cause your friends and acquaintances to whisper whenever you approach and give praise when you are gone.

• My friends are poor photographic subjects since Photoshop doesn’t have a “remove ugly” feature just yet. That might be Photoshop’s biggest challenge to date and we can only wait and hope for a breakthrough :) I think the World is now spending more on eradicating ugly than on eradicating deadly human diseases.

• Our second Local Over-Inflated Wonder, The Blimp, (the first being our leader’s head), flew over my house on the 30th of September 2005 at approximately 10:50 am. I suppose The Blimp was on an intelligence gathering mission. Apparently, no signs of intelligence could be found inside The Blimp on landing so the mission was deemed a failure, and as a result, the floating cash drain felt deflated.

Random Thoughts - One

• Sanity is mainly another name for inert and it's the main cause of boredom, which quite often leads to insanity.
• I am not ashamed or afraid to admit that "Harry Potter" has never sparked my curiosity. There is something about an imaginary boy wizard having more powers than I have that's just irksome.
• The most abused modern-day technological wonder is the cell phone, especially with the camera built in. Nothing is sacred anymore and everyone is a potential spy and private detective. This is a total abuse of a convenience.
• The new Santana CD "All That I Am" is to be released soon and it is to be one of those "Content/Copy-protected" CDs. I think the recording industry is clutching at straws because since when does copy protection prevent people from copying?
• If I ever wanted to open a store it would definitely be a book store selling only books. My reason would be that the chances of a break-in would be minimal since in this country books are not attractive to thieves and politicians (but I repeat myself). Books are not any more expensive than other pleasure devices but it requires greater brain effort than most pleasures. When I say pleasure and pleasures I mean it in the most decent way your brain could understand the word. The word pleasure has taken on a new twist lately and word association games have proven this many times over. We are a society of pleasure seekers, especially on Fridays after work...so I hear.
• Small and miniature can impress friends and onlookers but it depends on what they are looking on to.
• The Police have finished their investigations into the recent bombings and is unable to determine who is responsible since the bomber did not leave his name, address and phone number. How else can they solve any crime?
• The fact there were four consecutive full-page ads for the Jaguar X-Type in a local newspaper today is mind boggling. It used to be that the people who could afford these cars in this and many countries were few and far between, but now they are everywhere there is a load of gravel on the road, government contract, or kidnapping establishment (but I repeat myself). I must now conclude the wealth is being distributed evenly, tough forcefully. That's what is known as good governance.

The Back

At a recent concert, which was held at a location not too far form where I am typing this blog, I sat behind someone’s exposed back. The back wasn’t a bad back since it was an early to mid twenty something year old female back and seemed to be in good visual shape. Don’t for one minute think that I am one of those many weirdoes who spends the better part of his waking hours observing and scrutinizing female backs. But you see folks I had time to kill because the music was too loud to have any meaningful conversation without screaming, also the back was practically begging to be watched and even admired. I succumbed to the begging and the admiring.

Being an armature photographer exposure is always on my mind. The back had me thinking whether this back was correctly, under or over exposed. In my opinion it was correctly to under exposed but some conservative people would say any exposure is over exposure.

Backs are normally ignored until it starts to act up or become exposed. In this case it was clearly an “in your face” issue. At first I looked at the back in general terms, not as components which made up the back. To fully appreciate back beauty you need to look at it as a whole and not break it down into its components such as freckles, skin conditions and hair content. Believe me, this back was quite attractive but not when it was separated and analyzed, and few things ever are beautiful that way.

Mind you I didn’t constantly stare at the back as if to burn a hole in it and I doubt there is any back worth more than 5 minutes of attention in any given hour. What really happened was every look brought a thought and I looked several times therefore I accumulated several thoughts.

Apparently The Back had a nice Motorola cell with a camera, which she used to take several pictures of Mr. Grizzly, sitting next to her. What a waste of pixels I thought. Then, as if she sensed and was curious about my presence, she took a pic of me without turning around. It was a perfect voyeur photography technique. I then saw her look the captured image and scream. She then deleted the photograph without any indecision. The Back must have thought it was too early for Halloween. My feelings were not hurt because I knew if she did turn around or kept the picture Mr. Grizzly would be less than pleased and I less than alive. I was thankful to be still alive and physically intact because the concert hadn’t even started. However, after the first act performed on stage, my imaginary demise by Mr. Grizzly didn’t seem to be such a bad idea.

Maybe I will say more on what happened under the fancy lighting coupled with the over amplified sound but for now I will go. And despite popular request I will be back.

My Nobel Prize

Yesterday I developed a theory which would either earn me a Nobel Prize or no prize. My theory proposes to explain a mysterious phenomenon which has been bothering men and some women for thousands of years. The phenomenon is known as “Unexplained Missing Socks (UMS).” Yes, people have suggested alternate theories before but they were all preposterous and never intended to be serious theories. At best, the existing theories can be used as standup comedy material or in politicians’ speeches, which are the same things actually. However, I must admit my theory also sounds ludicrous on the surface but once you start to give it some thought, it flies.

I want to propose to the world that socks are going missing because aliens are kidnapping and studying them in their quest to find out what makes The Earth tick. The reason socks are being singled out is quite simple; the aliens in question look like socks therefore think that Earth socks are the highest form of intelligent life on the planet. Some of you may know people and several politicians who are less intelligent than Earth socks but generally speaking, socks are not very smart. The aliens probably came to the conclusion that "Socks are it" not only because socks are their look-alikes, but because they have been observing that socks are involved in every meaningful activity on the planet, except swimming. Just think about it for a moment and you would see what I mean. The Sock Aliens also observed how some lesser intelligent life forms, namely humans, throw a fit when they can’t find their socks. The aliens think humans are the slaves of the socks because if a slave ever loses his master all hell will break lose. That is probably why some humans go ballistic when they lose their socks. Could you imagine what would happen if you couldn't find your Prime Minister? Ok, bad example, but you see where the aliens are coming from.

I submit two photographs of these Sock Aliens for your consideration. The first (above) was taken one morning. The hideous creature looked so much like my socks that it almost went unnoticed. The second (below) was taken more recently when I spotted the alien at a popular DVD club taking out two movies for the weekend.

As more evidence is gathered about UMS and Sock Aliens I will share it with the World, even if the World doesn’t want it shared. Even if the World is afraid of the Truth.

In-line Entertainment

There are two types of line entertainment in the world today, on-line and in-line. On-line entertainment would be like reading this blog or happily scrolling through the pages of www.mayarobeach.com. In-line entertainment would the type found waiting in-line at banks and other line oriented institutions. From my experience I would say that there is always one intensely extroverted character in every human line of a certain length, and whose sole purpose in life is to prevent the other linees from dying of boredom or old age. Today there was one such character in the line at the bank. In less than ten minutes I learnt about his whole life story, his sister’s bad luck with men, his parents dislike for each other from marriage till death, how to live a virtuous life, why women wear makeup, and finally why banks place people inside ATMs instead of computers. I can’t complain and I have to say I got my money’s worth of in-line entertainment.

After the extrovert left us I entertained myself by wondering where the word teller came from. I went into amusing mode and thought it came from the fact these are the people you tell what transaction you wanted to do. They would in turn tell you the transaction you choose cannot be done. This would then lead to some serious telling form both sides; hence the name teller. The dictionary cannot prove or disprove this theory so for now I take it that it's true.

An L.A Story

I am thankful for small blessings and eternally grateful for the larger ones. In the five hours I spent in L.A I was able to see the enormously famous Hollywood sign, Huge Hefner’s mansion and Tom Cruise’s home. I didn’t photograph the dwellings because some things are best left to the imagination and also they might be very disappointing in reality. Hey, that’s probably a good definition of a playboy. However, what I did find most interesting is the numerous would-be actresses everywhere you looked, and I looked everywhere. I didn’t do a survey but these young girls looked seriously would-be to me.

In Hollywood and Beverly Hills looks and impression are everything. Nobody could be trusted and nobody is. The place is big, bright and full of life. True, it’s probably not meaningful life but still full of it. There are parts of Beverly Hills which has a strong resemblance to the upscale suburbs of Trinidad such as Goodwood Park (or is it Good Wood Park), Fairways and even parts of St Augustine. The other amazing feature of L.A and Beverly Hills is the numerous amounts of exotic sports cars driven by equally exotic girls talking on trendy cell phones to outdated lovers. Both the cars and the girls looked well maintained and slick. I could probably write a story about every one of these girls but it might be the same story for all.

Nearly missing your connecting flight triggers a type of excitement which can only be savored days after the fact. I was grateful that my bags were lightly packed and my stamina was in good standing. The boarding of the plane, which wasn’t full, made my muscles relax and my eyelids heavy. It was about 9:00pm when the pilot announced that we have been cleared for takeoff. It was 9:15pm, when the pilot then announced that there was a mechanical problem and we had to return to the hanger. It was 30 minutes later the pilot finally announced the problem was fixed but some cargo had to be left behind. All the standby passengers and their luggage had to be removed. What? The problem was fixed but cargo had to be removed? Obviously the problem was not fixed completely and I didn’t feel too encouraged by this hidden admission that all was not well on this flight. Also, since when are people considered cargo? Granted, there were a few people who did look like cargo but the pilot shouldn’t have announced this publicly. As the pieces of cargo made their way down the narrow aisle, I pretended not to bother but still noticing the embarrassment on the cargos’ faces. That’s called adding insult to injury. It was another two hours later when the plane finally shuddered into the air.

I like flying but it takes five long hours from L.A to Miami. To pass the boredom, the in-flight entertainment that night was the movie Herbie: Fully Loaded and a snoring old woman in the seat in front of me. I couldn’t sleep because who could sleep knowing something mechanically was amiss at 36,000 feet above solid dirt.

I also observed that flight attendants are so well trained I can imagine them making that dreaded announcement that the aircraft was about to crash. “Ladies and gentlemen the pilot has announced that all engines are now hopelessly on fire and we should be hitting the ground much sooner than expected. A life-vest is located under your seat but it won't be of much use to you on land. We sincearly hope that you listened to the safety instructions given before takeoff because we are not going to repeat them. Please fasten your seat belts, have your chairs in the uright position, and your tables cleaned and locked away. You can assume the crash position or scream like a mad man, it won't make a bit of difference on arrival. On behalf of Captain Nearly Sober and the rest of the sobbing flight crew, we hoped you had pleasant flight and thank you for choosing Crash Test Air as your number-one carrier. All cell phones should be switched off at this point and do have a nice day.”

to be continued? …….maybe......maybe not.....?

Airportee

The closest thing to a perfect one-stop-shop for an alien on a modern human-collecting expedition would be an international airport. In fact, if an alien landed at an international airport probably no one would even notice. The rumor mill has it that this has happened a few times before but the aliens were denied entry because of some mix up with their visas. That’s why I love airports; they are the best human zoos and causes of confusion on the planet.

An airport is a place where people of all nationalities, languages, races, colors, ages, waist sizes, genetic defects, gender disorders, and incomplete immigration forms, converge on the lost-luggage counter and take turns strangling the attendants. For just the cost of parking you can be senselessly entertained at any airport on any lazy Sunday afternoon. It is what I like, and what I do, that’s why I am called an airportee.

To be honest, the airport has more of the appearance of a circus than a zoo but I prefer to use zoo to describe the airport, and circus to describe the government. On that Sunday afternoon, with the temperature high enough to melt the coldest stares a woman could produce, I smiled to myself as insane people always do. There were the South American girls who turned faded blue jeans into a work of sculptured art, and the couple who walked into the immigration lounge with no less than 36 boxes of KFC. There was the French-looking girl with the see-through top and the drooling guys loudly thinking in silence “look at me.” The see-through girl probably had this thought running through her head “Ils sont gentils. Vous les aimez?” and I probably had this one “Oui, oui je les aime beaucoup!”

I have also been observing airhostesses over the years and noticed they are becoming more functional and less attractive. I suppose airlines have discovered that pretty girls are very useful but a girl who can push a food cart up and down a narrow aisle for five hours, and row a life raft full of people from the middle of the ocean to the nearest land mass is a rare find. I think it was George Carlin who first pointed out airhostesses are a much maligned bunch because of the fact they continuously walk in and out of cockpits. I think that gave the public the wrong impression as to their job function and it begged an answer to the question “What is really a cockpit?” Since there is an increase in the amount of female commercial pilots the name “cockpit” is to be changed but I have no idea as to what, or even why.

As a trained airport observer I have to say that the finest samples of female human life congregate there and not at Club Zen as previously thought. At the airport the skirts are as short, the jeans are as tight and the tops as transparent as those of Zen. The only difference is at the airport the people are more varied, the drinks are cheaper and there is no music, but at those prices you can’t complain.

The airport could be my home away from home but security had my cot towed away, and burnt.

Violent Clouds

This scene is frighteningly beautiful. I have always been fascinated, intimidated, overwhelmed, terrified and painfully attracted by beauty. There is a hidden power in beauty which chips away at the protective layer of the soul, and leaves its nerve exposed and vulnerable. This appreciation and vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being truly alive and I am glad to be alive.

Time

Time - can't live without it