Monday, March 06, 2006

The Cringing Man and Other Tales of Woe


"When women speak, men cringe" is the popular saying from the perennial 10,000 B.C bestseller, "Surviving Women - A Caveman's Guide To Happiness and Sanity - Vol. 3." published by Baboon Press. Recent scientific studies done by the Men's Survival Institute and Strip Club has made a direct link between women's speech and men's apparent deafness and cringing. It has also suggested a theory to explain the sudden rise in mid-week strip club attendance and the Colombian strippers, but that will be the subject of another long awaited photo-blog.


The Institute discovered that most men have an attention span of almost 30 seconds to a woman's voice but a very small fraction of men mustered an amazing 45 second tolerance. The study also revealed that men's attention span dwindled to 5 seconds once they were roped and placed into captivity by a female. This ground breaking research showed the comprehension rate of men deciphering women's babble was half of a percent at best. However, The Institute surprisingly discovered that men's attention span at strip clubs and miss bikini contest was somewhere close to infinite, with male test subjects having to be dragged away, sedated, and in extreme cases, neutered.


p.s. this blog was inspired by a certain bloger who is quite unforgiving to aka so he has decided to take his chances and run :)