Sunday, April 16, 2006


“Floobletrix,” how that word has come back to haunt me like a bad haircut from a rude hairdresser in Curepe. Floobletrix was first coined by firebird in the shoutbox of a rather infamous blog by a rather good looking blooger (good looking in his mind that is). Floobletrix is no easy word to pronounce and an even harder word to say. Some say you have never lived until you Floobletrix in the back seat of a car or in the washroom of an airplane. My advice is “never believe anything you hear,” especially about Floobletrix, except what you will read in this blog. This Beach Called Life as been appointed the sole authority on Floobletrix by those who can do so solely.

This word is unique in that it can be used freely as a noun, verb, adverb, pronoun, conjunction, or some other thing, since it means many things to as many people. Floobletrix, as versatile as it is, should only be used with great caution since it takes ambiguity to an uncertain level. It is similar to the blank tile in Scrabble, only it’s a word not a tile. One other rule is that no letters are ever added to Floobletrix and it is used as is, or not at all. Always use the capital F in Floobletrix since it is not a common word.

Here are some of the common ways of using this uncommon word:

  • Floobletrix, I forgot the chicken in the oven! I hope it's still alive.
  • Digicel has no more $49 phones; Floobletrix.
  • Dam, no cell signal, not even a single Floobletrix bmobile bar.
  • The PM regularly ate donkey brains in an attempt to gradually raise his IQ, but all he got was more Floobletrix for brains.
  • Life is not about Floobletrix, but how would I know.
  • The cleric preached about the ills of Floobletrix then promptly went back to his room for some more.
  • The magician was arrested after failing to make a rabbit come out of his pants pocket. All that managed to pop out of his pants was a regular sized Floobletrix that hopefully had seen better days. The police reported the investigation was scaled down because of the size of the Floobletrix and their doubts the evidence would even stand up in court.
  • Though the Floobletrix was not a specialist, his fees were so high you felt as if you had just visited a proctologist.
  • Before she was married she did not know her Floobletrix from her elbow, but after two years she was sure she was married to one (a Floobletrix, not an elbow).
  • He was sent to Floobletrix for seven years and came out with a better understanding of life and the perils of bending over to pick up the soap.