Sneek-Peeks

Here is the much unanticipated Sneek-Peeks of the new, exciting, never before seen, sadly lacking in content blogs called The Misadventures of Aka_lol - the Ultimate Zen Blogger and Comment Specialist.

• She was about six feet long, forteen inches wide, eight inches deep, and scarcely bulged on any side. She had just been crowned Queen and aka thought she would make a good ruler.

• Aka was facinated by the book, "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" so naturally, after he died he expected to meet them. When no one came Aka realized this was going to be hell.

• Aka wanted to be ignored all his life but when it finally happened he didn't like it one bit. It felt like winning a lotto the same day money was decleared obsolete.

• He was called the local Mr. Bond for two reasons. The first reason had to do with how scecretive he was and the other was that he lived up to his name.

• Aka had managed to fight off twenty swordsmen without so much as a scratch or the need for extra strenght deoderant. He was not only prolific with his sword, but also with his imigination.

• Mini accused Aka of not answering his phone but Aka, a firm believer in the truth and infomercials, said this was not so. The truth is that Aka always answered his phone but not when it was ringing. It was less stressful that way.

A Cool Test

I did this test and it blew my mind!!!


Here are my results:

Peaceful, Discreet, Non Aggressive

You are easy-going yet discreet. You make friends effortlessly, yet enjoy your privacy and independence. You like to get away from it all and be alone from time to time to contemplate the meaning of life and enjoy yourself. You need space, so you escape to beautiful hideaways, but you are not a loner. You are at peace with yourself and the world, and you appreciate life and what this world has to offer.

Crapo Smoke Yuh Pipe

I did a Google search for Crapo Smoke Yuh Pipe and this came up.

Crapo Smoke Yuh Pipe

Fire Cell

The cell phone phenomenon is no longer a phenomenon but a new way of life, and a new excuse for accidentally running over people and into electricity poles. It is also a new way of being rude and a certainly an extra special way of disposing of our income. It is also an easy way of staying in touch with those you don't want to stay in touch with, such as insurance agents and the owner of the green BMW you scratched in the car park at Movietowne last Wednesday at around 9:25 pm, while desperately trying to make eye-contact with a girl in an extra short skirt, but failed because your eyes never made it past her……legs. Yes, men do scratch cars but only for good reason. Let me continue. The world is getting smaller every day but does it have to get so small so fast. I liked the way it was, distant and unreachable. The Internet has made distance irrelevant but fiber cables necessary. The cell phone has made large countries small and caused tropical islands to replace coconut trees with cell towers and green balloons. Our landscape is changing but we are happy and connected.

The way the world works is like this; all luxuries becomes necessities, all necessities become conveniences, and all conveniences become inconvenient, especially when there is no signal. A classic example is fire. When fire was first invented by a caveman rubbing his sticks, it was a luxury enjoyed only by the upper-class cave dweller with someone to help him rub his sticks. In a few short years the fire business was booming as cave-women learnt how to light a cave-man’s fire simply by looking at his sticks. Then the inconvenience set in as cave-women grew to understand the power of the flame and cave-men grew addicted to it. The rest is painful history.

The magic is in the flame, not the stick.
The Unknown Cave-man

The Destruction Continues

This bush fire started on the Pine Trail at Mt. St. Benedict yesterday evening, and raged well into the night. Thankfully the winds were low by evening time so the spread was contained. Like all bush fires it probably was manmade. In this country, once it's dry enough and it can burn, somebody will make sure it burns. Ironically, this fire took place next to a fire-watcher tower. It could have been worse but it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Isn't this a crime against all the people?

Dear Blog Friends

Dear Blog Friends,

When people ask me why I don’t blog more often I ask, which came first, the chicken or the egg. So far, almost half the people voted for the egg and the other half only eat fish because of the recent bird flu scare. My mother always said if you blog more then people will come, but I doubt she knew what a blog was but she said it anyway. Most people are like that, making pronouncements on things they know very little of like how to remove a permanent butt-tattoo or where to get them. In my line of bloging a level head, along with careful thought, is necessary if I am to continue to contribute to the much-needed human development of this planet, which I am now a part of despite loud protest from certain circles and a few other out of shape people. That would account for my lack of blog.

Unlike you, my Blog Friends, I have no over flown toilets or roommates from hell. I don’t write poetry or know any lyrics by Creed. I didn’t find the Googleplex first or even know about nine precious gifts. I also don’t know how to make Divas or how to start a new beginning. Despite not knowing, all these topics were in my head long before they appeared on my fellow bloggers blogs, but as the old saying goes, he who hesitates will take longer, and probably will not get a cheap Digicel phone.

The competition for comments in the blog-world is vicious and this has made the blogging atmosphere tense and not as friendly as it once was. Despite this turmoil in the industry I believe in letting people know they exist and they are not forgotten, if I remember that is. That is why I comment on blogs, even if only four or five paragraphs. In my opinion, we must always appreciate what we have and also pay homage to the five greatest inventions of our time, the wheel, the blog, the blog comment, the semi-permanent tattoo and the bikini.

Best Regards

aka_lol

Floobletrix

“Floobletrix,” how that word has come back to haunt me like a bad haircut from a rude hairdresser in Curepe. Floobletrix was first coined by firebird in the shoutbox of a rather infamous blog by a rather good looking blooger (good looking in his mind that is). Floobletrix is no easy word to pronounce and an even harder word to say. Some say you have never lived until you Floobletrix in the back seat of a car or in the washroom of an airplane. My advice is “never believe anything you hear,” especially about Floobletrix, except what you will read in this blog. This Beach Called Life as been appointed the sole authority on Floobletrix by those who can do so solely.

This word is unique in that it can be used freely as a noun, verb, adverb, pronoun, conjunction, or some other thing, since it means many things to as many people. Floobletrix, as versatile as it is, should only be used with great caution since it takes ambiguity to an uncertain level. It is similar to the blank tile in Scrabble, only it’s a word not a tile. One other rule is that no letters are ever added to Floobletrix and it is used as is, or not at all. Always use the capital F in Floobletrix since it is not a common word.

Here are some of the common ways of using this uncommon word:

• Floobletrix, I forgot the chicken in the oven! I hope it's still alive.
  
• Digicel has no more $49 phones; Floobletrix.
• Dam, no cell signal, not even a single Floobletrix bmobile bar.
• The PM regularly ate donkey brains in an attempt to gradually raise his IQ, but all he got was more Floobletrix for brains.
• Life is not about Floobletrix, but how would I know.
• The cleric preached about the ills of Floobletrix then promptly went back to his room for some more.
• The magician was arrested after failing to make a rabbit come out of his pants pocket. All that managed to pop out of his pants was a regular sized Floobletrix that hopefully had seen better days. The police reported the investigation was scaled down because of the size of the Floobletrix and their doubts the evidence would even stand up in court.
• Though the Floobletrix was not a specialist, his fees were so high you felt as if you had just visited a proctologist.
• Before she was married she did not know her Floobletrix from her elbow, but after two years she was sure she was married to one (a Floobletrix, not an elbow).
• He was sent to Floobletrix for seven years and came out with a better understanding of life and the perils of bending over to pick up the soap.

the simple things in life

Dying by accident is tragic, but can be doubly so if one dies in a compromising position on a vibrating bed in Bangkok while lying on an inflatable doll. Death is inevitable but, despite the aluminum smelter means death, it is not inevitable. Many years ago, Albert Einstein was asked if the Universe was infinite, to which he replied that he is not sure, but he is sure human stupidity is. There is now sufficient proof that this is still so as politicians continue to roam the planet, destroying everything in their path.

To make life simple, the members from the four top professions in the world (engineers, lawyers, doctors and blogers), decided there would only be two causes of death, natural and unnatural (yes, it normally takes four professions to decide two things). What goes where continues to be vague, but so far the Cause of Death Organization (CODO) has made some strong recommendations. Under natural causes there is disease, old age, stray bullets from gang-related-shoot-outs, uninstalling spyware, and checking the price of steel. Under unnatural causes there is homicide, suicide, angry spouse and/or girlfriend, runaway bus, flying stones from weed-whackers, smelter fumes - aka: political effluent, and inflatable dolls. Regardless of your conviction, or lack of it, you will die from a cause, but not necessarily while lying in Bangkok.

Like most people of this planet I don't want to die too soon so, out of fear, I don't waste time thinking about it. I also don't willfully increase the odds of death happening sooner than necessary. I drive slow, eat healthy, avoid listening to political speeches, read The Hitchhikers Guide Four-Part Trilogy while climbing small hills, blog at least once a week, enjoy weekends, hate Mondays, download empeethrees, burn CDs, photograph everything, smile insanely, read blogs, refuse to grow up, keep an eye out for cell phone specials, collect pictures of Paris Hilton, and laugh while I write.

For me, life is simple and if I can get a Motorola C115 cell-phone for $49 I am happy. If I can top up at 10,000 locations across the country, I am ecstatic. Now, if only I can overcome my fear of cell phones life would be grand. Life is too short to waste on wanting, and the simple things in life are cheap, for everything else there is a layaway plan.

useless piece of information

Studies of fossils discovered during a recent CEPEP stone turning ceremony revealed, not only did the chicken not cross the road, but it wasn’t even a chicken. This shocking revelation was made possible by scientist studying the modern-day, mind-boggling phenomena called CEPEP. It was discovered the poultry that did attempt to cross the road was in fact a mutated and shortened turkey that had grown white feathers, probably because it lived near an aluminum smelter and close to a cell site in a newly demolished forested area. (The Back Against The Wall Journal reported that it was also very strange that shareholders of the smelter, and the politicians who approved it lived very far from the heavily-subsidized-user-of-gas).

This useless piece of information was discussed at a recent cabinet meeting but no final decision was made since most of the members fell asleep as if brain-dead, a condition typically brought on by aluminum intoxication. At a media conference held after the cabinet meeting, a refreshed, but delusional spokesperson said this discovery will in no way hamper Government’s “Lets Destroy the Country before its Too Late” initiative. The spokes person reassured the public and other environmentalist that even more bulldozers will be brought into the country to level the playing fields, and the Green to Brown assault on the country will continue. It was also said at the media conference that citizens who show any concern about their security, health, happiness, environment, children, fellow citizens, and the future of the country are only doing this because they have political agendas and are to be completely ignored, and if possible, victimized.

The media was reminded, under the present system of government, democracy ends after the last vote is cast on an election day, when the ownership of the country is passed on to the ruling bunch of politicians. It is only when the next general election is around the corner the elected bunch will appear to tolerate people-power. Until then, as the old saying goes, "is crapo smoke yuh pipe."

For more information on environmental issues read the daily blogs of NOW IS WOW , this and other article in Trinidaddreamscape.net, and http://www.nosmeltertnt.com/

Many Shapes and Sizes

The male ego can take many shapes and sizes and do this over a short period of time. What most people haven’t yet seen, or realized they have seen, is the male ego in the form of a blog. It is even more unsightly, but even more compelling in a disturbing sort of way. I now present to you my ego in blog form. If your heart is week and prone to sleepless nights when alone, or especially with company, do not click on any of the following links.

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK – ?

OR THIS LINK – ??

NOT SURE ABOUT THIS LINK EITHER - ?

WHO KNOWS - ?

p.s. This will more than likely be my last reference of the male ego for quite some time. I am doing this by popular request and also for no other reason.

Red-Thing

A few weeks ago, just after I put up my Carnival 2006 albums, I received an email from an unfriendly fan accusing me of favoring Digicel over bmobile. This annoying, but charming girl said she looked at all the Carnival photographs I put up and decided that Digicel was more favored than the incumbent bmobile. She was blunt and asked if I was on the take from Digicel. I didn’t immediately respond to the email since I was too busy basking in the glory of my Carnival photographs. Like with all things pretty, this initial excitement over the photos quickly died, and it is only now I have the sense of mind to give this accusation some thought. (Beautiful things can be intoxicating but overexposure can lead to indifference; but that’s beside the point. Also, I am out of blog material and I understand that I must blog often if I am to make a name for myself in the blog world.)

The answer to this accusation would be that I have no affiliation to Digicel or dislike bmobile any more than the average man on the street would. Digicel banners, t-shirts, and stickers were all over the place and my lenses could hardly avoid those bright red banners being a backdrop for the bikini-mas my camera is so fond off. I would say that the Digicel people knew what they were doing, knowing that Carnivals are probably the most photographed events in the world, second only to voyeur beach pictures and that of drunken friends at parties. Digicel apparently beat bmobile at what bmobile is famous for, propaganda.

I want to make it quite clear that I will not simply jump onto the Digicel bandwagon because I like red-things or once knew an Irish girl. I would be waiting to see who has the better deals and better network. I want more, I want to pay less, but I don’t want any more shoes.

p,s. The photo above shows how Digicel must be feeling about the whole interconnection fiasco. The worst is hopefully over with Digicel finally opening their doors to the public on Thursday.

Dear Aka

Dear Aka,

I am one of those many women who take offence to most of your blogs. It’s not only your poor use of grammar, esthetic use of punctuation, or shabby attempt at humor, but it’s also the way you portray women in your blogs and movies. Personally, I find you make too much unreasonable fun of women and not enough reasonable fun of men. I believe Mini has a right to be annoyed but you don’t want to take her seriously. Yoo are cocky and arrogant and I wish you a bad woman.

Dream Woman

Somewhere Out There

-----

Dear Dream Woman,

Where have you been all my life?

I am not sure if you are really offended by the blogs or the fact that Mini is having a hard time with me. I think most women would have a HARD time with me but I am not going to use this blog for cheap advertisement and ego inflation.

It’s about time I reveal to you who Mini really is – she is a blog character who lives somewhere in my head, and speaks incessantly, but with a pleasing tone, crossing and uncrossing her legs at the most inappropriate times while I am looking from the most appropriate angle. Mini is a combination of women I have met, liked and feared. Some I have met in person, while others I have met via email, movies, umbrella, runaway-car, blog, and divine intervention (according to them that is). Apart from her taste in clothes, choice of interviewees, and amazing leg-crossing skills, Mini may not be the woman of my dreams but just a woman in my dreams. Mini, like Aka, is a work in progress and you never know what they would do next, or where they may do it. Stay tuned.

In real life, I find women are frighteningly intelligent and accurately perceptive, that is why I make so much fun of them via blog. I am afraid, very afraid to do so in person because I want to live and blog longer. My humor is my way of reducing that fear and it’s the equivalent to whistling in the dark, or telling a joke in the cemetery at midnight while searching for spare body parts on Halloween night.

Yoo are cocky and arrogant. Was that a typoo or meant to show disrespect for aka? No offence taken so it must be a typoo. Doesn’t cocky mean arrogant? In a man’s world cocky doesn’t mean arrogant so thanks.

I wish you a bad woman. Thanks again, I needed that.

Aka_lol
Here, There and Everywhere

OOBE

Are you stressed out, tired, can't stay up at night or stay up period? Does life seem to be passing you by and only stopping to pick up other people? Then you need to fill out a product registration card and and describe your OOBE for the thrill of a lifetime. Yes OOBE, out-of-box-experience. Apparently, companies that make things that come in boxes such as ink jet printers, toasters, curling irons, electric toe nail clippers, chicken pluckers, cell phones and other vibrating devices want to know what that very private moment was like for you. This request is hardly ever in the form of a multiple choice question with answers ranging from wow to you must be joking. Sometimes the lonely data entry clerk in the warranty office wants you to write him or her a two-line essay. I always write him or her truthfully because I am a man and men are naturally truthful, and full of it as well. I write this underpaid, social misfit, sayings things like "I could hardly get it out of the box and had to have a friend help me pull it out. Needless to say this was quite embarrassing since I am a robust male with a big ego and there were several females in the room looking on and hoping it did not break since they needed to use it that night." Writing something like that can make my day and now I am addicted to the out-of-box-experience. I would say you haven't lived unless you, not only write about write about your favorite OOBE, but actually have one.


p.s. The photo above shows a small sampling of the boxes I have collected over the years. I never met a box I didn't like.


p.s.2 Don't shoot the messenger, bury him alive...... in a box.

aka

Pop Goes The Ego

I think my recent blogs and blog comments have pushed me into scalding hot water once again. It has been confirmed that my name was dragged through some dirt, stomped on, then promptly placed on two hit-lists. Regrettably, none of those lists have anything to do with music or x-rated movies. The first list was generated by an underground women's organization of male-bashers and Ninja assassins called Pop Goes The Ego (PGTE). The other food-stained list was seen hanging next to a male-approved-photo of Miss Mini at a pub, and signed by members of the notorious, grossly disorganized, and typically clueless all-male organization known as (no, not “Pop It,” thought that might be appropriate) “Sleaze Ball,” or “Sleazy Balls,” as PGTE affectionately refers to them. One side thinks I am scum and the other side thinks I am dirt, so now I feel I am part of a laundry detergent ad.

All this attention has me terrified, as any good bloger should be. Unlike Bond, the ability to stay calm while holding a pretty girl during a crisis is not my cup of tea. I don’t know how many of you have picked it up, but Bond holding a pretty girl was the real crisis and not the nuclear bomb set to go off in 30 seconds. Apparently, Bond’s bomb always goes off in 30 seconds or less and after it goes off there would be very little action. Super slow motion was used but that had limited effect. Exactly what I am going to be hit with, how often, when, and where is still not known. I suppose the where part should be obvious but the rest remains a mystery. I complained to the International Blogers Union but there was a foul smell in the air as they simply laughed in my face and hung up; a feat which is very difficult to do by phone but yet they managed.

Not only have my recent blogs been cited as the cause of my demise, but one of the older ones:

Yes, This One

to be continued.........??

p.s. There is SOMETHING NEW FROM KRISTA-LEE BISSOON . She has moved on from being The Google Girl, to something emotionally honest and equally entertaining. Check it out, but only after you are through with this blog :)

The Fall of a Bloger - aka: Aka

The famous and very revealing reporter, Mini Skirt, decided to interview the now infamous bloger, Aka, in an effort to find out why he has become what he has become. She decided to get down to the bottom of it all, as you will soon see, if you haven't already seen.

Mini: aka, I will get right down to it, people have been complaining that you are very full of yourself and sometimes crude and rude in your blogs and blog comments. Is that true?

Aka: I suppose it is true that people have been complaining and a blogers has a right to complain about perceived injustices and poor blogs.

Mini: What I meant to say aka was “is it true you have been crude and rude in your comments and your blog”?

Aka: I believe the question mark above should have been placed inside the inverted commas, right after the word “blog.”

Mini: You didn’t answer my question.

Aka: Of course I will spend the night with you in Barbados once you wear that micro-bikini again, or not wear it for that matter.

Mini: That is what I mean aka, you make a mockery of blogs by adding these pathetic and rude comments, which can make most of us very uncomfortable.

Aka: What am I now, a comfort zone? I always felt those micro-bikinis are a bit on the uncomfortable side but I don’t think their designers had comfort in mind when they were conceptualized. To answer your question about rude and pathetic blogs, I would say you are right and that’s just me at times.

Mini: Are you starving for attention or simply just have a huge ego?

Aka: Now, now, Mini look who is being rude and crude. Ha, ha, ha.

Mini: Such a hideous and sarcastic laugh! Get serious aka, you very well know what I mean by ego. You seem starved for attention and will do anything so that people will notice you. You think you are clever, amusing, charming, cultured and good looking. Why don’t you write something meaningful about life, or the smelter at Chatam? I think you are a very sad man aka, very, very sad.

Aka: I don’t know if to hang my head and cry or comment on your hemline slowly creeping up to the promise land. I much prefer the promise land thing though.

Mini: Aka, I believe there are men with very little hope in this world and you are one of them. Why don’t you see the folly of your ways and grow up. Life isn’t about fun and games, and creeping hemlines.

Aka: But I beg to differ. Life is to be enjoyed and I have spent too many years in my shell so now I am coming out of it in the form of a blog.

Mini: Shell? Are you some kind of turtle, a Ninja turtle perhaps!

Aka: One of my best friends reminded me about Ninja Turtles recently and it was good to remember.

Mini: Aka, there are reports that some blogers plan to protest your blogs and comments by burning tires on the connections leading to your blog. What do you have to say to that?

Aka: I would recommend they use Dunlop tires since it produces more and fouler smelling smoke. I think tire-burning is being perfected in this country and I also understand the University is planning to offer night classes in “Tire Burning and Road Blocking” but you have to bring your own tires.

Mini: Aka, you are either missing my point, being dumb, or being evasive again. People are appalled by your blogs and comments, and have decided to show their disapproval. Aren’t you the least bit concerned the protest will mushroom into violence and the defacing of your blogs?

Aka: Yes.

Mini: Yes what?

Aka: Yes Miss.

Mini: Be serious aka, your blog world is coming apart and you sit here like Nero, fiddling while Rome burns.

Aka: Oh my god, is Rome burning again? Was it tires this time?

Mini: Aka, you are beyond hope and redemption. I think you are pathetic and not fit to blog. I will recommend they take away your blogers license and be taught a lesson you will never forget!

Aka: I also would never forget that lesson you taught me while you did that lap dance. You nearly broke my…..

Mini: Enough Aka! People, including me, are becoming most fed up with your antics.

Aka: Sitting on a man’s ego is now called an antic? How quaint but painful. Shelly, I must admit you do paint this world in a very dim light.

Mini: I am not Shelly I am Mini. Shelly is the other one on CNC 3.

Aka: Sorry, you sound so much like her. Anyway, I think I must defend myself since, as you put it, my blog world is coming apart, but I don’t know what to say. In the world of blogging we can say things that we won’t say in real life. I would say bloging brings out the worst in me and that is my best. Some say I am confusing, some say I am confused. Both are right I guess. I would be the first to admit my mind is sane and enjoys life in many ways. I enjoy bloging and I also enjoy people not reading my blogs. I enjoy shouting in the middle of the forest so no one can hear. I also enjoy a little tire smoke and old cars dragged across the roadway. Life to me has now become several little things sewn together like a quilt. You can’t have a complete life unless you made a few little mistakes and no big ones. I think I am never what people expect unless they expect nothing. I am happy being me and I don’t even know how to put that in blog form. I can’t say if life is good or not because that would depend on if your car overheated this morning or the construction of the smelter has begun. That would also depend on if someone read and liked your poem, or if someone commented on your blog. There are so many things which affect life I would say it is neither good nor bad. I would say life simply is.

Mini: I hope you realized that you just spewed a whole heap of garbage again.

Aka: What’s one woman’s garbage is another woman’s treasure.

Mini: Here we go again.

Remember, Remember The Fifth of November

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

V for Vendetta is much more than another feel good "Let's blow up Parliament" movie. It's not the Matrix Part Four or a color version of Sin City. And despite the rumors you might have heard, the highlight of the movie for me was not the young South American shaped girl with low rider jeans passing up and down in front of me, occasionally brushing her... ...legs against my knees. No, that was not the highlight. It (the brushing) was highly entertaining and pleasantly distracting, but it was not the highlight. Though it(the movie) was quite entertaining, it was much more than bits and pieces of clever dialog punctuated by diabolical action sequences. This movie made a statement about the state of the World and one likely cure if governments forget their true purpose and don't stop screwing the people.

I never understood why people would describe something in terms of its components when it was designed to be used or enjoyed as a whole. People often review equipment, movies, books and low riding jeans in terms of two general categories what I liked and what I didn't care for. They almost always list these care for and don't care for items in bullet form for easy reading. The better reviews also put up photographs of low riding jeans viewed from every enjoyable angle. Today I will abandon tradition and use words to describe a movie which is too good for words and reviews.

To give you an insight as to the plot I will quote these words from the main character in the movie, V:

V: People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.

It is a movie which some would say supports terrorism as a way to solve the problem of evil, oppressive and obsessive governments. The phrase "Remember, remember, the fifth of November" haunted the viewer throughout and it left the audience with a feeling of satisfaction up to the very end. V for Vendetta says that some governments are made up of ruthless, selfish people who use lies, deception, and fear to manipulate and control the citizens. The movie points out that there will come a time when the public will say they have had enough and a leader, called a terrorist by the government, will emerge to help take back the country from the evil, self serving government. I don't see terrorism as an issue in the movie but I do see evil, oppressive governments as the main one.

I would say the Wachowski brothers of The Matrix fame made another excellent movie which cannot be analyzed into its components because everything fits so well together it would be impossible to take it apart. At the end of the movie I was overwhelmed with the feeling to blow up a building while listening to Tchaikovsky 1812 Overture booming away on an iPod.

A traitor to the Government can be a hero to the people. ~ another V

Con-flum-mox-ed - No Laughing Matter

He said: What movie do you want to see?

She said: Anything, it doesn't matter.

He said: Ok, let's see Hostel.

She said: No, not that, it's scary.

He said: I thought you said anything.

She said: Yes, anything but I don't want to see a scary movie.

He said: Walk The Line then.

She said: No, not that, it's too country musicish.

He said: Fire Wall?

She said: It's Firewall and no, too teckie.

He said: Memoirs of a Geisha?

She said: Read the book already.

He said: Good vibrations?

She said: Never heard about that, is it a Disney movie?

He said: Ahem! I don't think so. I am seeing three x's next to it and a duck, but I don't think it's Donald.

She said: Get serious, it's the middle of the week!

He said: I am serious and I thought you said anything.

She said: Yes, yes, anything I am in the mood to see. Why are you turning red again?

He said: Do you know the meaning of the word "anything?"

She said: Yes I do and I am beginning to understand that you don't.

He said: Now I am conflummoxrd.

She said: I thought we agreed you would not use that word anymore until the true meaning was sorted out.

He said: But I can't wait on the Oxford people forever. They are currently studying it and wrote back saying they were Conflummoxrd.

She said: A likely story. I bet the Oxfordians are men.

He said: Two men actually, James Conflummoxed and his brother Jessy.

She said: No wonder they are Conflummoxed. How do you pronounce it.

He said: Con-flum-mox-ed. It's a very sophisticated sounding word, almost like a serious medical condition.

She said: Is there a cure?

He said: Not yet but I am sure a breakthrough is eminent.

She said: Don't you mean imminent?

He said: Can't a cure be both eminent and imminent?

She said: If it's a cure for Conflummoxed I suppose it can be both. What are the symptoms?

He said: A chronic case of infrequent, pathetic and meaningless blogs.

She said: Like this one then?

He said: I am afraid so.

Moments of Deep Hysteria

“One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria.” ~ V. S. Naipaul

I always thought this but Naipaul wrote it - it's no wonder he is so good.

That one quotation sums up my Blog - I am a deeply hysterical man.